I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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