That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize