just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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