South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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