Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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