I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
