so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
