I need help removing her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
