Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
vagina is talking i cant
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
