so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i've created a new STD.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
