I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
