i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
