I want to stick my p in your. b.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
