So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
