yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
