Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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