We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
