I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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