i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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