I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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