I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
