omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.