if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos