yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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