just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
