Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
