she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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