Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
