So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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