areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
