I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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