the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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