Sponge bath it is.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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