Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
