I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
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It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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