One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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