just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
