the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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