wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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