the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
