girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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