she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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