would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
