if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
