If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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