yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
