That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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