Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
