win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
