I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
