if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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