Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
