ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
