Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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