I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
