Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it wasn't lemon gatorade
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
