lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
