I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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