so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't deserve a penis
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
