We're facebook friends in real life
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
