also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
