Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
