So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
