If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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