I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
