So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need a beard to bite.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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