I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
