we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
try to milk me bitch
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